Do you desire more romance in your relationship?
When you first meet someone you are attracted to, romancing comes easy and you don’t need motivation to show how much you are falling in love. Giving gifts, sending sweet texts, telling him or her how special he or she is to you seems effortless. You don’t mind doing special favors or helping him or her feel better when you first start dating.
Fast forward a few years into the relationship and the routine and responsibilities of everyday life can set in and leave little time or thought for romance. Raising children, working, and obligations outside of your relationship are all challenges that can curb romantic feelings for your partner. Yet, romance is crucial if you want to feel loved, adored, connected and intimate with your partner.
If you happened to choose a partner who is the romantic type, then that is great! If not, then you will need to be the one purposefully infusing romance into your relationship, if it is what you desire with your partner.
I have counseled many couples, who after years of living together without making effort to keep romance in their relationship have said, “We are like roommates.” This often tempts one partner to seek emotional or physical closeness outside of their relationship, because they are missing feeling as though their partner is still interested, attracted or desires them.
Enhancing the romance in your relationship lets your partner know you desire to be close and intimate. Reminiscing about what made you fall in love with him or her in the first place can spark romantic feelings. Go back several years, remember how you met, remember the first kiss, the first date, the first time you held hands, the first time you were intimate with each other. These memories can remind you of how much you adore him or her. Plan romance from this state of mind.
A romantic experience for your partner can be a surprise, or you can plan it and let your partner know the time and date you need him or her to be available for you. Dating needs to be something that lasts throughout your relationship, so you are making quality time to continue romancing each other as a couple. Dating your partner is a wonderful opportunity to leave the past tensions and worries of the week behind and intentionally focus on building more loving feelings with your partner during your romantic time together.
Some things to consider when you date are wearing something attractive, smelling delicious, taking time to look your best for your partner. Creating a romantic environment or going to a place that has a romantic atmosphere, for example candlelight, sentimental music and beautiful ambiance.
Here are some more ideas that can enhance romance with your partner:
- Give your partner a gift that lets him or her know you love them.
- Leave love notes for your partner in his or her car, or places he or she will find them.
- Be affectionate often. Cuddle, squeeze, give soft kisses and caresses.
- Flirt and be charming. Wink, smile and say something that softens his or her heart to yours.
- Bring him or her a favorite drink, food or desert and let him/her know you were thinking about them.
- Surprise your partner with flowers or a sexy card.
- Ask your partner to slow dance to romantic music with you.
- Invite your partner to run away with you for a few hours.
- Give your partner a massage. Light candles and have soft music.
- Text him or her a sexy picture.
- Be playful together.
- Read, or write a romantic poem. If your musical, write a song for him/her.
Here is a romantic poem you can steal!
After all these years I can still look at you and see the beautiful soul I fell in love with.
Your touch still invites chemistry.
Your gaze illuminates your love for me.
The stories you share, let me know you still care.
Close we lay at night, silent in our deeply connected hearts,
knowing our romance continues through the years.
Make time for romance in your relationship at least two to four times each month to continue building love and feelings of adoration for your partner. Creating romantic memories can bring a smile that lasts a lifetime!
Written by Elisabeth Davies, MC
Counselor and Author of Good Things Emotional Healing Journal: Addiction